Frequently Asked Questions

Divorce Mediation is a voluntary settlement process used by couples who want to divorce or separate. Divorce mediation gives couples the opportunity to make their own decisions. With the assistance of a trained divorce mediator, couples can reach an agreement that is custom-made for their families, finances and futures..

 The couple meets with the divorce mediator for a number of sessions to review and discuss all of the issues that need to be decided by the couple for themselves and their children. The divorce mediator is responsible for facilitating the discussion, and the couple is responsible for making decisions regarding the various issues. Once all issues have been agreed upon, a written document detailing the couple’s agreement will be prepared.

Without taking sides, a divorce mediator helps each couple come to an agreement that the participants feel will meet their individual needs and the needs of their family. Typically, a divorce mediator helps each partner better communicate individual needs and common interests so that they can explore reasonable options, make informed decisions and create solid agreements that benefit their family.

Yes, it is true. If the mediation results in a mutually acceptable agreement, no court appearances by the couple are required. 

Couples can opt to live under a separation agreement for a variety of reasons – some to work on their marriage, most to begin the steps to end their marriage. The couple needs to make many of the same decisions whether they are separating or divorcing, including how they will manage their finances, divide their property, handle health insurance coverage, and share parenting responsibilities. To officially end their marriage, couples need to obtain a divorce decree issued by the court.

The divorce mediation process has three stages: 

1. The couple meets with the divorce mediator to discuss and reach agreement on all issues that need to be addressed (parenting, financial support, division of assets and liabilities, and tax issues).
2. The agreements reached during divorce mediation are put in a written document prepared by the divorce mediator and may be in the form of a Memorandum of Understanding, or a Separation Agreement or Marital Settlement Agreement.
3. If the couple decides to finalize their divorce, the documents required for a divorce can be prepared, signed and filed with the Court.    

Absolutely. Couples can mediate their disputes whether they are legally married or not.

Divorce mediation is a cooperative process that addresses each individual’s (and their children’s) specific interests, concerns and needs moving forward. The neutral divorce mediator assists the couple in communicating in order to create a mutually beneficial agreement. The parties have total control over the outcome. Divorce mediation is cost effective, saves time and saves unwanted emotional turmoil for all members of the family. 

On the other hand, litigation is an adversarial process in which both parties retain attorneys to go to court. The parties have little, if any, control over the process and the outcome. Litigation is an expensive and lengthy process wrought with emotional turmoil.

Issues are resolved by the individuals with the assistance of the divorce mediator. The divorce mediator will ensure that all issues necessary for separation or divorce in New York are raised and will help the couple explore and review their options.

It’s a personal choice. A divorce mediator can provide couples with legal information, but is unable to offer legal advice. If either individual wants legal advice at any point in the process, or prior to signing any legal documents, that person should consult with an attorney. 

Yes.  Divorce mediation can be introduced at any stage even after litigation has started. If a couple comes to a point where litigation has become unproductive, they can turn to divorce mediation and take the decision-making process into their own hands.

Many couples choose divorce mediation rather than a litigated divorce because they find it is more beneficial for their families. It gives them control over decision making for themselves and their family. Divorce mediation encourages collaboration and communication and provides greater privacy.  Participants are more likely to abide by agreements they made in divorce mediation.

Yes. Couples often find that divorce mediation helps them reach decisions more quickly and eliminates the high costs associated with a litigated divorce.  

It is very common for one person to be ready before the other. The individual who is ready may benefit from allowing the other person time to come to terms with the idea that the marriage/relationship is over. The divorce mediator may be able to facilitate a discussion about this in order to help the couple move forward.

Yes, conflict can exist in divorce mediation. A divorce mediator will create a safe and balanced environment where both parties can communicate their needs and expectations. The divorce mediator will structure the conversation so that both points of view can be shared. 

Yes. The divorce mediator is able to help couples make decisions in the best interest of their children by keeping them out of the conflict. As they go through the divorce mediation process, many couples develop a better way to communicate and co-parent. 

In divorce mediation, couples have the opportunity to develop a customized parenting schedule that will address the needs of the entire family. The divorce mediator will help families generate various shared parenting options for holidays, vacations, weekdays, weekends, and any special circumstances.

The divorce mediator will explain New York’s Child Support Standards Act and work with a couple to create a budget so that they can come to a mutually acceptable agreement that addresses their children’s financial needs, including health expenses, education, extracurricular activities and any additional expenses.